I sent an e-mail to my ex tonight. I told him my feelings and thoughts. If he responds that’s fine, if not then it’s no skin off my back. I’m not that hurt as I was after the first 72 hours; however I’m starting to understand God’s reason for the breakup. I kept seeing signs for our past relationship from Him and that is the reason I decided to contact the ex. It took me three years to meet him; I don’t care if it takes another three for him to come back into my life.
With that said, I don’t mind that I’m single at the current moment. There is so many reasons I like being single, but the I’m afraid my worst fear will come true. My fear is that I’ll die alone. However, I have to realize I’m still young and things could change tomorrow. Being 27 doesn’t feel young when you have a family who continues “hinting” how old you are. Reasons I like being single? For example, yesterday I bought a 5S iPhone to replace my old 4S iPhone I had for over 4 and a half years. It felt great buying myself that instead of saving the money for this weekend’s get together with the ex. I’m able to save money and work on studying for the NCE, hanging out with friends, and being able to work on this blog. However, what I miss the most about being in a relationship is sharing experiences and memories together.
After the break up, I basically throw caution to the wind and went on a spending spree without checking my finances. After waking up this morning to check my bank account, I promised myself I would never do that again. My first goal while being single is to get out of credit card debt and slowly work on getting my car paid off within the next three years. Another reason I hated that feeling from this morning.
Hopefully, I’ll feel ok to open up the box filled with the scrapbook, our photos, and various knickknacks tomorrow. I’m afraid of the rush of feelings and emotions that will overcome me. I definitely want to share the bucket list on here so I can start crossing off the list one by one.
I’ll be hanging out with a friend tomorrow after work. I’m excited for that because where we are going I never been before. We are going to Tavola restaurant at the Springfield Country Club. I’ll definitely be sharing photos from tomorrow’s shindig!