My worst enemy

My mind is my worst enemy. All the times I want to go back to the drinking, the smoking, the partying because life was so much easier, simpler, where you threw caution to the wind. But your mind plays tricks on you. You think it’s so much easier, but the sneaking around and lying isn’t worth it. I hate my mind. It only allows me to think of negative thoughts because you are not used to being treated right. So many people hurt you that you get used to being hurt. Your mind makes up things; scenarios, people, events, lies, it makes you beg for mercy. It allows you to cry at the drop of a hat, won’t give you rest.

My mind is beautiful. It allows me to see the beauty where there is none. It allows for second chances, allows me to see the good the beauty in others. Before they hurt you, before your word gets turned upside down before everything comes tumbling down.

My mind is no good. It’s a thief, it steals, it begs, it pleads, it’s selfish, it’s crazy, it thinks up things that never happened. It plays mind games on yourself on others. It’s greedy. It’s sarcastic.

My mind hates you right now, but loves you at the same time. It can’t make up it’s mind. It’s always 50/50, black and white. Wants to hurt you the way you broke me…

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