I only weigh myself once a week. I used to be anorexic and throughout high school and college I suffered from binge eating disorder as well. I had no idea how to stop. Some days, I’d eat nothing and other days I couldn’t stop eating. For me, I never sought help because I knew I was doing that to fill a void. But what type of void was I looking to fill?
The void I was looking to fill was love. Love from family, friends, romantic relationships… Love and attention. I never heard an “I Love You” from my parents, my friends tell me they love me a lot more than family ever did, and you know the story of my relationships. They loved me, but do they still do? Was it really love?
This week, I set my alarm for 6am Monday to Thursday so I can get up and go to the gym. I set my workout clothes out the night before, pack up my gym bag, and program my coffee maker to brew my coffee at 6:15am. That way my alarm goes off, I wash my face and brush my teeth, change into my gym clothes, and grab my coffee and out the door! I’m at the gym by 6:30am.
On Monday, I do cardio. On Tuesday, I attend my yoga class. On Wednesday, I do cardio. On Thursday, I attend my yoga class. New this Friday, which will become part of my gym schedule is Fridays Bodypump! I’m really happy with the schedule I have so far. I think this upcoming Monday, I’ll do Bodystep in the am.
Below is my picture that I posted on my instagram. There is a selfie of me after completing Friday’s Bodypump. A Selfie of me having a vanilla banana protein shake as a recovery meal, and my sister took this photo of me in my favorite bikini. I weighed myself this morning (Friday) because I forgot on Wednesday and I was 144.3 pounds. I’m aiming for 142 pounds next week.
I’ll always wear this bikini to show progress. I’m hoping by March 20, 2016 I’ll be 10 pounds lighter. Fingers crossed!