11/20-22/2015 Weekend

So this weekend sucked. It was a rough weekend. Friday, I didn’t do anything. Sunday I worked, but Saturday was the real pain in the ass.

I met a friend down in Philadelphia for a food fest, which was so unorganized I’m never doing it again. We went to 4 Fathers and National Mechanics for lunch and drinks. Both places were great! Great food, great drinks, and the employees were so nice! We were in Philly for maybe 3 or so hours, but coming home on the train then driving back to my house around 7pm was hard.

I felt like I was drunk, but I wasn’t. My body was so numb that all I wanted to do was go to bed. I couldn’t sleep. You were on my mind. Why can’t I push you aside… you’re no longer in my life… Why is my heart treating me as if this was my fault… It’s not your fault… I cried tears of sorrow, tears of pain, and tears of confusion…

It was a rough weekend, but it’s not a rough life. Life goes on even when your heart is broken in two. I’m so numb inside that I can’t feel… This was one of the worst Saturdays of my life. You would have loved the event. Why do I continue thinking about you? Do you even think about me?

It’s hard because I don’t know truth from a lie anymore. Is it something I did to make you break up with me? Why couldn’t you just talk to me about what you were thinking or feeling? I guess I don’t deserve that type of respect. I guess you think I’ll be better for someone else, but I don’t want anyone but you…

The tears of confusion as they stream down my face become tears of acceptance. You are no longer in my life. Oh how I hope to God one day you will come back into my life… I want you. I love you. I don’t want to live my life alone…

This weekend was rough. Yet, life will go on. You’re a strong woman with a no nonsense attitude. You can do anything you put your mind to. Tomorrow will be Monday and it’s back to the grid. You just have to take one day at a time. Just remember to keep smiling through the tears…

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