Single Girls…

Last Friday, my girlfriend, Leighann and I, had dinner at a local BYOB near me. Single girlfriends came just in time. Just when Chris broke up with me, my girlfriends near and far came out of the woodwork to make sure I was okay. Within weeks, I was starting to meet people who can help me with the healing process. I needed single girlfriends and God placed them in my life at the right moment. I still have childhood friends who live near me, but many of them have children or smoke.

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This past week was hard, very hard. I would cry at the drop of the hat. My anxiety was through the roof and I wasn’t eating correctly at all. I try my hardest to regulate my emotions so I have an appetite, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. My dinner was tears falling down my cheeks.

If you could see my heart, it would be in fetal position on the floor hitting her fist against the wall crying out why! while sobbing uncontrollable. Leighann said it will get easier over time, but I’m through with waiting. I want to erase all the memories because he’s never coming back…

Sometimes I think about drinking a bottle of wine each night, waking up and taking a fireball shot, smoking whatever whenever I want, but I fought to be who I am before I met him and I will never go back to that dark place in my life…

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It’s hard to go on my life without him in in. I think about him day in and day out. I even had a few dreams with him in it the past couple nights. I just want him back. He made me a better person.

Why God did You put him into my life? For what reason? Why did I meet him? I don’t have that answer and I never will…

Just for once I like to be broken up with for a legitimate reason. Not that you have to work on your career and save up money for a car…

Cheers to those single girlfriends who you can call no matter what the time is, the girlfriends who will pick you up more times than you can count, to the girlfriends who don’t even have to ask how you are doing because they can see it in your eyes that you are not okay, to the girlfriends who will be by your side playing wheelchair races in the nursing homes…

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Nicole, you’ll always be my best friend ever though I don’t see much of you. I’ll always be there for you and Christian and the rest of your family. Allison, Rachel, Katie, Alana, Megan, Leighann: I love you all. Thank you for being in my life and being my friends.

I’m excited for this Friday in Phoenixville when I’ll meet up with Allison, Leighann, and Megan for dinner at Great American Pub then walking over for a wine tasting at taste. Cheers to great times with great friends!

 

As always, kisses on the peace sign fingers and love

XO Jenn

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