Things Not To Say… was inspired by a client’s mom who gave me a verbal beatdown on Sunday. It also inspired the post Why Did You Say?.
There are so many things you shouldn’t say to someone who is depressed or is suicidal. I heard it all. I’ve seen it all. And I’m still here. I know I’m stronger than depression, I’m stronger than suicide, and I’m stronger by the hurtful words that were thrown at me by ignorant people.
I know you are stronger than depression, you are stronger than suicide, and I’m here for you. My cell phone is on the front page. Call me or text me if you need someone. There is no one in this world that should go at life alone. We are all important.
Things to say to someone with depression…
- I’m here for you. You’re not alone in this.
- You matter. You are important to me.
- Do you want a hug? Let me help.
- You’re not going crazy. Depression is real.
- There is hope. We’re here to see one another through the tough times.
- You can survive this. When all is this is over I’ll be here standing next to you. I’ll always be here for you.
- I can’t really understand what you are feeling. But, I want to help. I’ll try my best to understand and be compassionate.
- I’m not going to leave you nor abandon you. You won’t drive me away.
- I care about you. I love you. (Sidenote: Only say ‘I love you’ if you mean it)
- We’ll get through this together. I’m sorry you are in so much pain.
Things NOT to say to someone with depression…
- There is someone else worse off than you.
- No one ever said life was fair.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
- Aren’t you always depressed?
- Try not to be so depressed.
- It’s your own fault.
- Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days.
- I think your depression is a way of punishing us.
- Haven’t you grown tired of your own self pity yet?
Find someone who will help you with your depression. Someone who understands your depression and the affects it has on people. The people who understand depression and the affects it has will be compassionate empathic personalities.
It’s the people who want you in their life even when you have nothing to offer them, but your friendship who will be the best advocates for you. They love you unconditionally and will never break a promise they made to you. I’ve heard it all. And the only people who never left my side are a few friends I can count on my ten fingers. They know everything about me, my flaws, my scars, my past and they accepted me for who I am. I don’t think I’ll ever find a romantic partner who can do the same. I thought I did, but I was sadly mistaken…
As always, kisses on the peace sign fingers and love…