Single and an Extrovert? I honestly feel the pain. However, being a single extrovert is an awesome thing!
Outgoing, social, life of the party. Some words that describe those who are extrovert. Yet, can it be true that a true extrovert is unhappy on the inside? Is it that when we aren’t busy or throwing a gathering they may not know what to do with themselves? Maybe stress comes into play and you’re so bored that you don’t know what to do with yourselves. Stress eating may or may not come into play. Maybe all of us been there during some point of our lives. However, how can a true single extrovert be okay with singlehood?
When it comes to events and being around others, sometimes you want to share the experience with that special person, and not your friends. It’s hard because you don’t want to feel like a third wheel. In the past I would join various sites, such as Match.com, Coffee meets Bagel, and joined a couple MeetUp groups that specialize in social singles. I had fun, but I was truly that unhappy extrovert. I can’t tell you what changed, but I took my time to heal and now I’m solely focusing on me and my career. I couldn’t be happier.
How can anyone feel okay with being single? During studying for the National Counseling Examination (NCE), I learned about the term called ‘linking’ where counselors group similar people together during group work. In terms of linking, gather all your single friends make plans for brunch every Saturday or Sunday or do something new and fresh! If one of you loves painting, go to a painting class. If one of you loves going to an art museum, go to a art museum or an art gallery opening. If one of you loves going to various different festivals, find a festival you’ll all love going too! Whether is a beer festival, music festival, or a fitness festival; you all will have fun while getting closer to each other.
However, you can’t be with your friends 24/7, so take the time you have by yourself to be comfortable with an empty house with no one around. Learn to be comfortable with the silence. Read a book. Watch a movie. Paint or color a page from an adult coloring book. Go on a long walk. Feel the sun on your face. Run away from your house just to run back when you can no longer run any farther. Listen to a podcast during the run or nothing at all. Make it a meditative run. Take yourself out to dinner, so you’re around people. Go to your local Color Me Mine to paint a coffee cup that showcases your personality. Hang out with family. Clean your apartment. Afterwards, light a candle, sit back and relax with a nice glass of wine.
It’s never easy just to be single. Sometimes there are events you may be invited to that calls for a date. Be strong enough to go by yourself. It’s never going to be easy, but it will get easier each time you do it.
I’ve been there where I wish I had someone special to share the experience with. However, it’s just not going to be just anyone… Love yourself enough to be that strong woman that makes men jealous of your strength.
Peace and Love —> Jenn